Why the Sulking?

Yesterday I was in one of my seminary classes and we were telling stories. One of our assignments has been to do a formalist analysis of an Old Testament story of our choosing. Someone across the room picked the Cain and Abel story. She was telling her story and when she came to this verse, I could have sworn she was looking right at me:
  • Genesis 4:6-7 (MSG) God spoke to Cain: “Why this tantrum? Why the sulking? If you do well, won’t you be accepted? And if you don’t do well, sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it’s out to get you, you've got to master it.”
My religious background is not heavy in the language of sin and condemnation, but this verse really hit me in the chest. I feel like lately I've been sulking. Not literally, but spiritually. No one event happened to start me on my spirit sulk, but I've just felt it lately.

And this verse just finally touched on something I hadn't even realized I had been holding onto. Now that I've been thinking about it, I think I'm in the post BVS sulk. Coming off the volunteer life high.

There's another quote that popped into my head while thinking about this verse and it's from, surprise surprise, the movie Frozen. Yes, I am a Frozen fanatic, but I think Disney really created something special this time in this movie. There are so many pieces that can be used in different ways. 

  • PABBIE: Listen to me, Elsa, your power will only grow. There is beauty in your magic...But also great danger. You must learn to control it. Fear will be your enemy.

This piece spoke to something I constantly struggle with--fear. God tells Cain, "sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce." For me, it's "fear is lying in wait to consume you, ready to pounce." Fear of the unknown, the stress that comes from living with anxiety. It's something I need to "master" or "learn to control."

 And I can only do that if I trust God and get out of my spiritual sulking. Start listening to him again (or her). I need to do my Lenten devotional, to start. I'm not taking it as seriously as I was before and have even missed multiple days. 

 This post was my penance. I will get back on track! I will not be consumed by fear! Let's do this! :-D

 Peace & Love,
Rachel


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